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It's a strange thing. Not a bad thing, but a strange thing. For the first time in...oh....my LIFE, i have a plan. A viable, workable plan. A plan that does not involve throwing everything I own into garbage bags and vegetable boxes and moving on. A plan that does not involve slipping by on my barest efforts, but on a, well...I think I've said it now a few dozen times...a plan.
For some reason i am finally at a place where i can formulate the idea of taking things step by step and looking ahead. For the most part my life has been lived in the "Duck and Cover" strategy. Slipping underneath the radar, riding the tide, getting by with just what I need. Most times less. And a whole lot of depending on the kindness of others.
I look around and I see my mother who raised me, passing on the money she and my father saved and invested for so many years, to my brother and I who have yet to "make it". I see that while we are whittling away at our inheritance, it is something to admire that she has it to give at all. I found myself wondering...what will happen to me when I am her age? For a very long time I did not have an answer, better yet the proper motivation to find an answer.
See, I'm an artist. One of those nutty creative types that doesn't do well in traditional jobs. Has trouble learning... Yeah, we've all heard this shit before, right? Well, I had myself believing it. What I have come to realize, far too late in my life for my comfort, is that I can make things work AND be creative. So maybe I don't have a college degree. So what? I can find a job I am comfortable in and help my husband and son better themselves so they CAN have that degree.
Hunter and I are making plans to move the clan down South a bit in our state where things are exactly the reverse of where we are now. Where we live now is a tourist destination. Crowded to the point of homicidal thoughts in the Summer, and dead as Death Vally in the Winter. There are quite literally no jobs here right now. Where we are moving is a college town. Everyone goes home for the Summer. Nice and quiet. And the jobs we have during the Winter will likely take us through the Summer as well.
We will be closer to our girl, who we miss terribly. And frankly I loathe the drive down there. I do it for very selfish reasons. Because we miss her and want to be near her. The town is full of book stores and Indian, Thai, Japanese and all manner of yummy ethnic foods. There is a Trader Joe's...oh Joe how I've missed you.
The thought of these positive ideas keeps me going. I have my final interview tomorrow for the first real job I have held in over three years. There is the ability to transfer within the company when we move. Hunter is checking out the colleges and our son is stoked to find work and help us with the move.
For the first time in years I don't feel like I need to duck.
For some reason i am finally at a place where i can formulate the idea of taking things step by step and looking ahead. For the most part my life has been lived in the "Duck and Cover" strategy. Slipping underneath the radar, riding the tide, getting by with just what I need. Most times less. And a whole lot of depending on the kindness of others.
I look around and I see my mother who raised me, passing on the money she and my father saved and invested for so many years, to my brother and I who have yet to "make it". I see that while we are whittling away at our inheritance, it is something to admire that she has it to give at all. I found myself wondering...what will happen to me when I am her age? For a very long time I did not have an answer, better yet the proper motivation to find an answer.
See, I'm an artist. One of those nutty creative types that doesn't do well in traditional jobs. Has trouble learning... Yeah, we've all heard this shit before, right? Well, I had myself believing it. What I have come to realize, far too late in my life for my comfort, is that I can make things work AND be creative. So maybe I don't have a college degree. So what? I can find a job I am comfortable in and help my husband and son better themselves so they CAN have that degree.
Hunter and I are making plans to move the clan down South a bit in our state where things are exactly the reverse of where we are now. Where we live now is a tourist destination. Crowded to the point of homicidal thoughts in the Summer, and dead as Death Vally in the Winter. There are quite literally no jobs here right now. Where we are moving is a college town. Everyone goes home for the Summer. Nice and quiet. And the jobs we have during the Winter will likely take us through the Summer as well.
We will be closer to our girl, who we miss terribly. And frankly I loathe the drive down there. I do it for very selfish reasons. Because we miss her and want to be near her. The town is full of book stores and Indian, Thai, Japanese and all manner of yummy ethnic foods. There is a Trader Joe's...oh Joe how I've missed you.
The thought of these positive ideas keeps me going. I have my final interview tomorrow for the first real job I have held in over three years. There is the ability to transfer within the company when we move. Hunter is checking out the colleges and our son is stoked to find work and help us with the move.
For the first time in years I don't feel like I need to duck.
Quitting Sucks!
You know, I've done a lot of difficult things in my life. I have overcome addiction, survived divorce and abusive men. Dealt with people who do not agree with my life choices/appearance/mates. I can honestly say, without doubt, that quitting smoking is the roughest thing I have ever done.
I WANT to quit. Do not mistake that. However between the nicotine withdrawal and the social cues, it is making me miserable. I do great for a few days, maybe a week, and then I am running to the store in the middle of the night for a pack. WTF?
I have a plan. Starting tonight I am getting the house back on a regular schedule. Everyone in bed by mi
Birthdays
You ever notice how birthdays sort of lose their pizazz after you grow up?
I have a birthday coming on Wednesday. It just feels like any other day. All of my wishes for material birthday gifts are either outrageously expensive or just silly. Like I would love to take a trip to Seattle. Just an over nighter, but it's not in the budget.
Things that are reasonably priced? Most of them are silly. Most of them are "virtual". I'd love to get a subscription to DA. Some Farmville Cash on Facebook. Silly , yeah?
I think the best part about this birthday is that I don't have a lot to bitch about this year. My bills are paid. I have a husba
Models Wanted
I am beginning a new adventure. I have decided to try and capture more photos of my passion, tattoos. I am looking for models in the SW Washington, NW Oregon area, possibly Portland and Salem as well. Models of all shapes and sizes are welcome, but there is one catch. You MUST be tattooed and/or pierced. Photos need not be nude if that is beyond your comfort zone, as long as we can see the tattoos. These photos will be for my MotherCorax account.
I am on the lookout especially for people tattooed by any of the artists at Keepsake Tattoo in Astoria Oregon. If you have Keepsake work and want to show it off please contact me!
So here is
A bit of a change
Hello folks. Just dropping in to say I am going to be changing things around a bit here. So if you follow this page for my photography, and not pictures of me, this is for you.
I have started a gallery for my photography. You can find it HERE. I will slowly be moving non-favorited pieces to that account. All favorited pieces will remain on this account so they will not disappear from your favorites.
I hope to see you there!
Bliss
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