Listening to: Hunter Sleeping
It's a strange thing. Not a bad thing, but a strange thing. For the first time in...oh....my LIFE, i have a plan. A viable, workable plan. A plan that does not involve throwing everything I own into garbage bags and vegetable boxes and moving on. A plan that does not involve slipping by on my barest efforts, but on a, well...I think I've said it now a few dozen times...a plan.
For some reason i am finally at a place where i can formulate the idea of taking things step by step and looking ahead. For the most part my life has been lived in the "Duck and Cover" strategy. Slipping underneath the radar, riding the tide, getting by with just what I need. Most times less. And a whole lot of depending on the kindness of others.
I look around and I see my mother who raised me, passing on the money she and my father saved and invested for so many years, to my brother and I who have yet to "make it". I see that while we are whittling away at our inheritance, it is something to admire that she has it to give at all. I found myself wondering...what will happen to me when I am her age? For a very long time I did not have an answer, better yet the proper motivation to find an answer.
See, I'm an artist. One of those nutty creative types that doesn't do well in traditional jobs. Has trouble learning... Yeah, we've all heard this shit before, right? Well, I had myself believing it. What I have come to realize, far too late in my life for my comfort, is that I can make things work AND be creative. So maybe I don't have a college degree. So what? I can find a job I am comfortable in and help my husband and son better themselves so they CAN have that degree.
Hunter and I are making plans to move the clan down South a bit in our state where things are exactly the reverse of where we are now. Where we live now is a tourist destination. Crowded to the point of homicidal thoughts in the Summer, and dead as Death Vally in the Winter. There are quite literally no jobs here right now. Where we are moving is a college town. Everyone goes home for the Summer. Nice and quiet. And the jobs we have during the Winter will likely take us through the Summer as well.
We will be closer to our girl, who we miss terribly. And frankly I loathe the drive down there. I do it for very selfish reasons. Because we miss her and want to be near her. The town is full of book stores and Indian, Thai, Japanese and all manner of yummy ethnic foods. There is a Trader Joe's...oh Joe how I've missed you.
The thought of these positive ideas keeps me going. I have my final interview tomorrow for the first real job I have held in over three years. There is the ability to transfer within the company when we move. Hunter is checking out the colleges and our son is stoked to find work and help us with the move.
For the first time in years I don't feel like I need to duck.